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Thursday, 05 November 2009

  • I know I'm behind but it's different for every person. I feel like my last &first serious relationship didn't even count. Looking back, I didn't have these kinds of feelings like I do with him now. I had such a terrible day yesterday 'cause of fighting with my mom, which never happens. But when we do fight, it's just terrible. I hate fighting. I'm not a fighter, obviously. Then, shortly after, the cap to my oil of my car fell off leaking oil at Sheetz causing the engine to smoke. It was just one thing after another. I felt like I just had to go see him &be with him. Like, it was seriously so cool just to lay with him for 6 hours &do nothing but sleep &feel totally better. It was just, the coolest feeling. He's so great, man. If he only knew I was saying this stuff about him. But I think he already knows. I'm such a girl. Like, he's perfect. He doesn't have to do a thing to make me feel so great inside. That's the best feeling to ever have. To love &to be loved. It was certainly worth the wait.

    "That's when you know you've found somebody really special, you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence."

    &He tells me about this part of Pulp Fiction &it got even better. He's the best.

Monday, 26 October 2009

  • Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place.
    Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace.

    I feel so fortunate to have the life I live. I really have all the people in it to thank. My opportunities as well. I thoroughly enjoy this feeling. I love that feeling when you wake up in the morning without a worry. I want to travel the U.S. &take pictures. I had a dream last night that was so cool. I haven't talked to my grandmother for 2 years now, &she was in my dream &asked me when I'm going to start living my life to my full potential or something critical like she always had done. I remember sitting there &looking at her in the eyes &saying, "I've already started." It's not of that much importance, but to me, it was. I woke up feeling inspired. Life. I can't wait to write a book. I don't plan on publishing it, I just want to write one.

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

  • I give chances like a batter has 3 strikes in baseball. First strike. I hope he doesn't let me down. I've never been so into someone before, &I've never been so hurt by someone before. This is all new to me, so I hope it's an experience. I hope he's worth it.

Saturday, 17 October 2009

  • I feel like I could vomit. I've never been so oblivious to what had happened to me. I just keep getting punched in the gut over, and over, and over again. I feel like I keep getting knocked down. How can I ever trust? I'm just another chain to your chain, chain, chains of fools.

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

  • I just don't know how to feel. I could feel happy. I could feel bummed. I don't wait around. 'Cause I did that once, &it ended up being a 4 year saga infamously known as "925ing". I can't let my past control the present, but I can't help it. I have issues with myself. I just can't handle myself sometimes. I just need to enjoy it, but how can I when all I do is worry? All I do is worry.




    I can't help it this is who I am
    Sorry but I can't just go turn off how I feel
    You'd kill me if you love me, but just to watch me break
    I know what I should do but I just can't walk away

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un_peace

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